I would like to make a modest — or perhaps radical — proposal for your new year: try eating authentically.
Not sure what “authentic eating” means? Well, it’s possible that I…just maybe…invented the phrase. So I’ll define it: in my opinion, authentic eating is intimately related to authentic living.
Authentic living means living in a way that is consistent with who you truly are. It means listening to your inner voice about who you are and what you want, and acting on your own behalf as you move through the world.
A few key points about living authentically:
Authentic living may not be “intuitive.” Many of us are currently not living authentically. Instead, we’re living lives that we think we “should” live, or lives that our parents or colleagues would approve of, for example. It may feel extremely un-obvious, and un-intuitive to live authentically! It may take some work — self-reflection, new skills, outside help — in order to figure out how to live our most authentic lives.
Authentic living acknowledges complexity and nuance. You contain many parts and desires — you are complex, and it takes some work and skillfulness to balance those complex needs. Those needs and desires may change by the day or year.
Authentic living doesn’t necessarily mean selfish or irresponsible living. Authentic living doesn’t mean telling your work colleague that you dislike her — though, if you do dislike her, it might mean privately acknowledging it to yourself. Even if some part of might not want to do your taxes — you might choose to do them anyway because you would be able to notice that it would be more annoying to deal with the IRS on your back for being delinquent.
In my work as a life coach, I support my clients on all kinds of topics: how to feel more clear, grounded, calm, spacious, sparkling, vibrant, alive, productive, intentional, engaged, connected — and more. But at the core of all of my work is a commitment to authenticity — honoring what we truly need, want, and feel called to do and be in our lives.
From this perspective, I think that “authentic eating” becomes a bit clearer.
Authentic eating, in my opinion, means eating in a way that is consistent with who you truly are. It means listening to your inner experience about what you need and want — with food, and beyond — and acting on your own behalf as you make decisions about eating and life as a whole.
The same points apply about eating authentically:
Authentic eating may not be “intuitive.” Eating in a way that truly serves you often requires cultivating new skills — many of us are not skillful enough at noticing subtle levels of hunger and fullness, for example, or the ways in which our agitation levels are affecting our eating. This is why I don’t love the phrase “intuitive eating” — it may not be intuitive or obvious for you!
Authentic eating acknowledges complexity and nuance. In any given moment, you are balancing needs for hunger, pleasure, energy, nutrition, connection, money, convenience, and more. You need a system of eating that allows you to honor and balance all of these needs.
Authentic eating doesn’t mean irresponsible eating. Sometimes people read my essays and worry: Katie, if I did what you’d suggest, I’d start eating cookie dough and *never stop.* Based on my experience working with many, many people: I do not believe that you would. If you are really in touch with your truth, it simply wouldn’t make sense to eat cookie dough and never stop.
…
In both authentic living and eating, many of us start out being able to do it naturally. My 6-month old babies — at least as far as I can tell — are deeply authentic in their life choices, and in their eating.
But somewhere along the way, most of us lose touch with that authenticity. This makes a certain amount of developmental sense. My fabulous 6-month-olds are unable to notice, in a detailed way, what the world wants of them. On the other hand, you are probably both consciously and unconsciously aware of what your mom, boss, best friend, or college classmates think of you or want from you.
But if we’re comfortable with the idea that cultivating an authentic, meaningful life can require some work — some self-discovery, some new skills, some courage, and perhaps even some help (I needed some!)… is it possible that the same could be true of an authentic relationship to food?
What work might you do to cultivate a more authentic relationship to food in 2021?
…
One last thing: it can be hard to do this eating work on your own. It’s hard to know where to start, and it can be hard to actually put these ideas into action.
If you’d like some support on that journey — much more detail on how to begin, lots of implementation, and the warmest community there is — you might consider joining the Dessert Club. Enrollment opens in February, but the doors to the early bird waitlist (no commitment, just the option to sign up early and save) close on January 10.
And no matter what path you take, I’m rooting for you in the year ahead. You’ve got this.
Did you like this essay? Sign up for my newsletter to get helpful + encouraging essays like this every Sunday morning. It’s free! :)