I’ve been writing this blog for several years now, so I assume that you know everything that I know! But that might not be true. :) So I’m doing a series that I call “back to basics,” in which I share my perspective on the “basics” of a happy, sane relationship with food. My last “back to basics” piece was about hunger.
I have a suggestion for one, basic thing that will help you eat in a way that truly serves you: When you eat, only eat.
In other words: Don’t eat while distracted.
I know, I know. You’ve probably heard the one before. It’s not exactly a new suggestion that eating without distractions might be a good idea.
But hear me out. I’m not suggesting eating without distractions because it’s more proper, or because I want you to cultivate some sort of instagram-worthy dinner, complete with candles and cloth napkins (though if you’d like, have at it).
The reason to eat without distractions is because you’re more likely to be able to notice what you need to notice: hunger, fullness, how this food is making you feel, and what you’re craving in this moment (not what you thought you wanted at the beginning of the meal).
Actually, I’m still being too gentle: the reason to eat without distractions is because it will be very, very, VERY difficult to notice what you need to notice, if you eat while distracted.
Especially in the beginning, this is not optional.
Science confirms this; one study, for example, that found that you experience more flavor, from less food, if you eat without distractions. As a result, people who ate without distractions ate less, without purposefully trying to do so.
In my book, distractions include:
Instagram
YouTube
Books
Driving
Working
Standing (yep — if you’re standing, you’re likely to be doing other things — cooking, walking, etc.)
I typically hear four reactions to this advice:
But meals are my chance to have fun! I can’t have fun if I can’t eat with my distractions!
But I won’t be able to get enough done at work if I don’t eat while working!
But my specific situation doesn’t allow for undistracted eating!
But I’ll feel like a crazy person!
Let’s talk about them.
1. But meals are my chance to have fun!
I really empathize with this concern. I used to be a hardcore reader-while-eater, for example. My meals were my break! I wanted to have fun!
But, when I looked deeper, I realized: I was often taking breaks to eat because I wanted fun, and not because I was actually hungry. Also, I would often eat more, just because I didn’t feel like going back to work yet. As a result, I was often eating more than I truly needed, or too much of foods that didn’t make me feel my best.
I had to give up what I call the “robot fantasy” — the myth that my brain could just “decide” how much I’d work in a day, and I would behave like an obedient robot, and get the job done. I had to accept that my eating patterns were telling me something: I needed more breaks.
If I allowed myself to have breaks just because I needed breaks — and not because I “needed to eat” — I ate a lot less. I first had this realization in my senior year of college, when I was writing my thesis — a 100+ page paper that was the capstone of my undergrad experience. I hadn’t been allowing myself breaks except to eat, sleep and exercise.
But once I did…I’m pretty sure I read the entire True Blood series that spring.
2. I won’t be able to get enough done at work if I don’t eat while working!
I totally empathize with this one, too.
It’s important to separate the social pressure from the productivity question. Productivity-wise: Is it actually true that taking 20 minutes to eat last night’s leftovers is going to ruin your productivity? Our brains need breaks — stepping away, in my opinion, is more likely to make you more effective and efficient for the rest of the day because you’re more likely to think and prioritize better once you get back.
But there is absolutely also social pressure. When I was a management consultant in Manhattan, it sometimes felt like no one took lunch breaks (and often no breaks for breakfast or dinner or snacks, either) — everyone just got food and then went back to making slides and Excel models.
The only thing I’ll say here is that if you are being reasonable, very few managers can say, no, taking 20 or 30 minutes to eat a sandwich isn’t allowed. Yes, it might be a little strange — but if you find that it is so helpful for your wellbeing, being a tiny bit strange might be worth it. Who knows, you might even inspire others by being brave!
3. My specific situation doesn’t allow for undistracted eating!
I get it — you’re an emergency room nurse. You’re taking care of two kids under 5. Undistracted eating sounds nice but also…impossible.
So I will say what I always say: You definitely don’t need to be rigid about this. Just do your best to gently care for yourself.
Maybe you can’t eat undistracted on your 12-hour shift (at the emergency room, or with your kids). When you happen to have five minutes free while the kids are napping or between patients, maybe you try to eat a snack undistracted. And maybe you try to have at least one meal a day undistracted — when you’re not on call.
But remember — just do your best to gently care for yourself. It’s okay if it’s not “perfect.”
4. I’ll feel like a crazy person!
If you fear that if you only did one thing (eat) and not multiple things (eating while going on Instagram and listening to a podcast) you might feel jumpy or agitated or like you might crawl out of your skin….well, that’s possible.
But, if sitting and only eating brings up agitation that is hard to be with…that agitation was there anyway. That agitation was absolutely affecting your eating. I can’t overemphasize how much it will serve you to face it, head on. May I recommend lying on the floor for five minutes, perhaps before eating? That may help you process some of it, before you’re face-to-face with your sandwich.
…
One last note: It’s true that talking to other humans while eating is also distracting — but since that is one of our primal human pleasures, I wouldn’t suggest cutting that out entirely. But if you’re struggling with your eating, it might be useful to have at least one meal a day when you’re alone and can focus on your food. And you might be extra thoughtful when you do eat with others — maybe take a break mid-meal to check in with yourself, for example.
And, I can’t resist a challenge: Could you try to eat without distractions this week?
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