I define an “eating methodology” as a framework that helps you know when, what, how, or how much to eat.
Some methodologies are strict; others are quite flexible. Some are personal and idiosyncratic, while others — intermittent fasting, Keto, or the Mediterranean Diet, for example — have books and large Instagram communities and lots of internet articles written about them.
If you’re someone who’s frustrated with your eating, I’d guess that one of the following is true:
You don’t have a methodology for eating
You don’t have a methodology that is appropriate and holistically healthy for you.
Let’s explore each of these possibilities:
1. You don’t have a methodology for eating
Some people will eat in a way that serves them, completely instinctually. The way that they eat makes them feel physically well, and supports their other needs — emotional, physical, relational, etc. I would argue that they do have a methodology for eating, but it is implicit and they may have never thought about it.
And yet, many of the rest of us…don’t do this. Left to own our devices, our eating is likely to be influenced by outside forces, like:
What’s there — If the donuts are in the work meeting, you might want to eat them!
Who’s there — if everyone else is eating, you’ll eat. But if no one is eating, you might not eat — even if you’re hungry!
Our emotions — More indulgent food, or larger quantities of food, can seem more appealing when we are stressed, anxious, tired, bored — or even happy.
I’m not saying you can never choose to eat a donut at a work meeting, or cake when everyone else is eating cake.
But I am saying that sometimes the work-donut serves us, and other times it doesn’t. It can be helpful to have at least a gentle framework — questions to ask, things to notice — to guide our eating, so we know we are eating intentionally, rather than in a reactive way.
2. You don’t have a methodology that is sustainable and holistically healthy for you.
If your eating methodology leaves you anxious, obsessed with food, or frequently feeling guilty, then it is not mentally or emotionally healthy for you.
If your methodology for eating is mentally or emotionally unhealthy for you, then it is not healthy for you. This is true, even if you are ostensibly consuming “healthy food” in “healthy quantities.”
And, of course, if how we approach food is not mentally or emotionally healthy, many of us will find it very difficult to consistently consume “healthy food” in “healthy quantities.” We might do it sometimes, and then other times, we’ll finish a sleeve of cookies standing next to our pantry at 11 pm.
…
As I said above, not everyone needs an “eating methodology;” some people do it completely naturally.
But if you’re someone who frequently feels frustrated or guilty or annoyed with their eating, then, in my experience, a methodology can be quite useful. I don’t personally prefer a strict or rigid methodology, but a gentle and flexible framework — questions to ask, things to notice — can help guide you when you need it.
The obvious next question, of course, is: how do I develop my own eating methodology?
As it turns out, that is my goal for you! Perhaps you would like to peruse the archives of my blog (here and here), where I’ve spent 6 years trying to give you bite-sized ideas for how to do just that?
Or, if you’d like a more thorough approach: I run a group program called the Dessert Club, whose goal is to help you figure out how to eat in a way that serves you. I’ll be opening the group again in 2021 (with a slightly new format — and one that is suited to you no matter where you live!).
If you’re interested in the Dessert Club, you can sign up here to be the first to know when the doors open for enrollment (+ you’ll receive a discount code that is good for early bird sign-ups!).
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