"I don’t do any kind of crazy restriction, but sometimes — well, a lot of the time — I eat more than I intended to. More than I *wanted* to. My eating makes me feel unhappy and unwell."
I heard some variation of this over and over this week. I was having interest calls with folks who are on the waitlist to join the Dessert Club Mastermind, and they kept telling me the same thing.
Before I continue, I want to be crystal-clear: I’m not here to embarrass or shame anyone.
And yet, I will say it:
Just like under-nourishing ourselves is not ideal…over-nourishing ourselves is also not ideal.
In certain circles, this is not a radical thing to say. People focused on weight loss or weight “maintenance” are constantly trying to avoid eating “too much.”
But something else has happened in the past decade or two. There has been an emergence of some really, really awesome movements: intuitive eating, body positivity, a rejection of diet culture.
I love most of what these movements have to say:
Stop being so fixated on your weight!
All body sizes, shapes, and abilities deserve respect + appreciation!
Listen to your appetite about what to eat!
Eat pleasurable foods!
And yet, I think that these movements have a blind spot. I’ve written about it recently, and I got such a strong response, that it seemed like, well, almost no one was saying it. No one was saying: look, diet culture is not healthy or conducive to happiness. But also, a lot of folks in the “intuitive eating” + body positivity worlds often don’t emphasize something that’s very important, too:
Just like under-nourishing ourselves is not ideal…over-nourishing ourselves is also not ideal.
The solution to your eating issues isn’t just to “stop worrying about it” and put a cookie in your mouth whenever the thought occurs to you. Look at me! I'm rebelling against diet culture + releasing restriction!
That may work for some people, but for many, many others, it will lead to eating in a way that doesn’t make you feel well or truly serve you.
(This is absolutely not to say you shouldn’t eat plenty of cookies! I freaking love cookies and eat sweets multiple times a day! And of course: folks recovering from an eating disorder may need to focus only on eliminating restriction. This does not apply to them.)
It is simply to say: our conversation needs to be more nuanced than that.
Again: Just like under-nourishing ourselves is not ideal…over-nourishing ourselves is also not ideal.
…
Of course, nourishing oneself isn’t something we typically do with scientific precision. We’re going to listen to our body’s signals, our diverse needs (emotional, mental, spiritual, relational), what is possible for us (e.g., what food is available, what we can afford), and make the best decision we can in the moment.
But just because the “right” amount of nourishment is a range…doesn’t mean that most of us don’t know when we’ve over-nourished ourselves.
It’s not about the food quantity. It could be a single Cool Ranch Dorito, or three XL bags. It’s not even about the food itself. It could be double fudge brownies, or celery.
Just like under-nourishing ourselves is not ideal…over-nourishing ourselves is also not ideal. It can be detracting from our mental, emotional, spiritual and yes — physical — wellbeing.
Over-nourishment can show up in a many forms, but here are a few common signs:
You frequently eat in a kind of a “trance” — almost like you completely zone out while you’re eating, and only “come to” when the food is gone.
You use eating to “push through” fatigue (emotional, mental, or physical), to ignore emotions or agitation in your body, or to give you pleasure when you don’t have other reliable sources of it.
You don’t feel well in your body some or all the time.
Sometimes we push this kind of behavior under the carpet. Yeah, it’s not ideal that I just ate like that, but I won’t do it again.
But let’s be real: You will definitely do it again.
In fact, you will do it over and over and over and over…if you don’t get to the bottom of what’s truly causing it.
I’m not here to shame anyone. I’m simply here to offer a dose of reality.
And I’m also here to name: you don’t have to have an eating-disorder level of restriction to have a relationship with food that is problematic, painful, and worth looking into.
…
One last thing? If you’d like to eat differently — with more empowerment, calm, and heck, even joy…it’s possible.
My signature program, the Dessert Club Mastermind, is focused on precisely that. In the Dessert Club Mastermind, I share everything I know about how to eat in a way that truly works for you — without body shaming, dieting, or a lack of warm chocolate chip cookies.
If you’re interested in joining us, you can learn more + apply for an interest call starting on Monday.
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